Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Diet & Exercise -- just rip my brain out through my nose!

Yesterday, eggs caused cancer.  Today, it is a necessary part of your diet.  Protein was needed to break down carbs.  Now, if you have too much you can get cancer.  Sugar is essential for energy.  Too much, or the wrong kind, and you get Diabetes.  Take your vitamins.  Don't take your vitamins, your body can't process them anyway.  Body needs fat to survive.  Lose all the fat or your heart won't survive.  Brush your teeth in the morning, evening, and after each meal.  Don't brush your teeth too often or you'll cause problems with your gums.  Eat six small, balanced meals.  It doesn't matter when or what you eat, just eat the right amount of calories.  You need 20+ minutes of cardio per day for a healthy heart.  Exercise too much and your body goes into survival mode.  Use deodorant to control body odor and sweat.  Don't use deodorant because sweat is the natural cooling system of the body and deodorant can cause cancer.

When does it ever end?  Has the world not learned that if given the right circumstances, almost everything is either good for you or bad for you and can or cannot cause cancer?  When do we get to choose for ouselves and take responsibility for our own choices?  Obviously, some things are beyond the lay person's comprehension -- especially when they use all those big words to describe what is in food or products.  But, really?  Do you  have to tell me that hot coffee is hot?  Do I really need to be reminded everytime I eat a bowl of ice cream that this has been known to cause an elevation in fat? 

Common sense people.  Now, what we really need is a "common sense" TV channel or Internet site where people can go and learn common sense or at least look it up.  Or maybe they should just call me.  I am overflowing with common sense.

For example, my clothes are not fitting because I used the wrong laundry detergent and they shrunk in the dryer.  It has nothing to do with the piece of cake I ate.  I don't have any energy because I have my days and nights mixed up and has nothing to do with staying up late or eating foods that are empty calories (I can eat whatever I want, just as long as it is a certain amount of calories, right?)  My legs hurt because the floor I'm exercising on isn't the right kind and has nothing to do with the fact that I'm getting older and things are breaking.  My eyes are hurting because my pupils are not dialating correctly and letting in too much light and has nothing to do with the fact that I'm so tired, which of course stems from the fact that my days and nights are mixed up.

See, the wisdom I have to offer the world.  I could go on and on.  It is just amazing being in my presence.  I can't understand why someone would say, "Don't follow your mother's example, she is obviously "common sense" challenged."

2 comments:

Rachel said...

I have a ton of zits right now from hormones...not all of the chocolate I just consumed because chocolate we are told is good for the heart! I think common sense runs in the family!

Cindy Jacobson said...

I love you & your "commical sense" :)