Self-sabotage & obssessions!

How many times have you been asked, "What is the purpose of life?"  And how many times have you reached into your Primary memory banks and smartly replied, "The purpose of life is to gain a body and live life in such a way so you can return to live with your Heavenly Father."  Text book question and text book answer.

I have come to the conclusion that this is not my purpose in life.  I have tried to conform, but no matter how hard I try I keep getting slingshot back to reality.  See, my life has its moments of peace.  I mean, things are really moving along nicely.  That must be my mistake.  I get comfortable and complacent.

When, bam, my little, pea brain begins to stir and I panic.  Life cannot be this pleasant!  There is something missing!  What did I do wrong?  Then the anxiety kicks in, the hyperventilating, looking over my shoulder, checking everything more than once, pinching myself to see if this is a dream, and finally coming to the conclusion that I need complicated.

Such a moment has occurred.  I couldn't leave well enough alone.  NOOO!!!!  I had to go and throw everything away.  I'm going to stay up at night, sweating, and wondering if everything is okay.  I'm going to be crawling around on my hands and knees randomly sniffing the carpet for evidence of foul play.  I'm going to be checking cupboards and all the contents before I shut the doors to make sure there isn't anything in there that doesn't belong there.  I'm going to be demanding silence and straining my ears in hopes of hearing the appropriate scratching noises.

Why must I always create chaos???  Did I not have enough gray hairs?  Is my scalp not itchy and flaking enough?  Do I not have enough excuses to indulge in pounds of chocolate and then agonize over pounds of flesh?

But there I was behind the wheel of my car, travelling an unfamiliar road, parking at an unfamiliar house, smiling and trying to act sane to an unfamiliar face, and then carting back to my car . . .  not one . . . but TWO unfamiliar kittens.  And, to top it off, they are male.  WHAT WAS I THINKING???????

So to that simple question of what is my purpose in life comes the simple answer -- to find anything and everything I can think of that will end my moments of peace and thoroughly drive me further and further insane.  And, I will have you know I am succeeding fabulously at my purpose.